The Invisible Weight Women Carry

Social media can add another layer to that weight.  I enjoy social media. It gives us a way to connect, learn, laugh, discover new ideas and celebrate one another. But it also gives us a front-row seat to everyone else’s best moments.

Someone is waking up at 5 a.m., exercising, journaling and preparing a beautiful breakfast before I’ve even opened both eyes.  Someone else has a spotless home, a thriving marriage, well-dressed children and a growing business.  Another woman appears to be aging effortlessly, traveling often and managing life without ever becoming overwhelmed.

I know I’m looking at selected moments.  I know there is a full life outside the frame.

But comparison doesn’t always wait for logic.

Sometimes I can look at another woman’s highlight and quietly turn it into evidence that I am falling behind.

I don’t believe most women are intentionally trying to make anyone feel inadequate. We are often simply sharing the parts of life that make us proud. But when enough polished moments appear together, they can begin to feel like a standard we are all expected to reach.

And that standard keeps moving.

The more we accomplish, the more we believe we should be able to handle.

The more people depend on us, the harder it becomes to admit that we are tired.

The more capable we appear, the less likely anyone is to ask whether we need help.

That is the invisible weight.

It is not only the work women do.

It is the remembering, anticipating, planning, worrying and carrying that often happens quietly behind it.

I’m learning that I cannot measure my life against someone else’s carefully chosen frame.

I have to return to what is true.

My family does not need a perfect woman.

They need me present.