Marriage Isn't Built in the Big Moments

August 9, 2026

This month, Jermaine and I celebrate 25 years of marriage.

Twenty-five.

Even writing that feels a little surreal.

When we got married, I’m sure we had an idea of what our life together would look like.

We would build a family. Create a home. Raise our children. Build careers. Grow old together. And somewhere in that young version of marriage, I think we assumed that if two people really loved each other, everything else would eventually fall into place.

Twenty-five years later, I can tell you... That is not exactly how this works. 😂

Love matters tremendously. But love doesn't exempt you from being human.

We brought two different childhoods into our marriage. Two different personalities. Two different ways of communicating. Two different ideas about money, parenting, conflict, affection, family, responsibility—and probably the correct temperature for the thermostat.

And then life added its own layers.

Four children. Careers. Businesses. Bills. Loss. Successes. Disappointments.

Parenting babies who eventually became teenagers and adults. Dreams that worked. Dreams that didn't. And two people who continued changing while trying to love one another through every version.

The marriage we imagined at the beginning couldn't possibly have prepared us for all of that.

Because the two people standing at the altar 25 years ago didn't yet know everything life was going to teach them.

We've had to learn each other again and again.

I think that's one of the biggest lessons marriage has taught me. You don't marry someone once and simply know them forever.

People change. Life changes them. Parenthood changes them. Success changes them. Disappointment changes them. Age changes them. Healing changes them.

And if you're fortunate enough to spend decades with someone, eventually you have to become curious about the person they're becoming instead of assuming they're still the person you married years ago.

That's something Jermaine and I are still learning. We've had seasons when we've communicated beautifully and seasons when we've misunderstood each other. Times when we've felt incredibly connected and times when life, responsibilities and our own individual struggles made connection harder.

There have been moments when we've had to choose grace over being right.

Forgiveness over keeping score.

Curiosity over assumption.

And sometimes simply choose to try again tomorrow.

That's the part of marriage I didn't understand 25 years ago.

You keep choosing.

Not just your spouse.

You choose the marriage.

You choose the conversation.

You choose growth.

You choose to examine yourself instead of always examining the other person.

You choose to apologize.

You choose to forgive.

You choose to laugh again.

You choose to believe that a difficult chapter doesn't have to become the entire story.

And some seasons require that choice more intentionally than others.

From Jermaine's Side of the Lens

One thing I've learned over 25 years is that I can't allow what happened yesterday to determine how I see Catron today.

We're both still growing.

Marriage requires giving each other room to change, heal and become better. I'm learning to approach my wife with more grace, compassion and curiosity instead of assuming I already know what she's thinking or feeling.

Twenty-five years later, I'm still learning my wife.

And I think that's a good thing.

The Marriage We Have

Looking back, I'm grateful we didn't get the marriage we thought we'd have.

Because the marriage I imagined probably would have been based on two people who never disappointed each other, always communicated perfectly and somehow knew exactly what the other needed.

That marriage doesn't exist. Instead, we got something real. A marriage that has been lived in. One that has stretched us. Humbled us. Made us laugh. Made us grow. Required forgiveness. Given us four incredible children. Given us memories I wouldn't trade. And taught us things about ourselves that we probably never would have learned otherwise.

There are still things we're working on.

There are still things we're learning.

There are still conversations we're having.

After 25 years, we're still becoming.

And maybe that's what a good marriage really is.

Not two people who finally figure everything out.

But two people who keep giving each other permission to grow—and keep deciding there's something worth growing toward together.

25 Years in 25 Lessons

Lesson #1:

Don't expect your marriage to remain the same.

The person you married will change.

So will you.

Keep getting to know each other.

Sunday Reflection

Whether you've been married two years, twenty-five years, or you're simply thinking about the relationships that matter most in your life:

Are you allowing the people you love to grow?

Or are you still responding to an older version of them?

Maybe this week, instead of assuming you know, ask a new question.

You might be surprised by the person you discover.

Until Next Sunday

As we celebrate 25 years this month, we're going to spend our August Sunday Letters sharing some of the things marriage has taught us—the beautiful lessons and some of the harder ones too.

Not because we've mastered marriage.

Far from it.

But because after 25 years, we've learned that some of the most meaningful things are built slowly.

A conversation at a time.

A lesson at a time.

A choice at a time.

And perhaps that's a lot like photography.

A photograph captures a fraction of a second.

But the story behind it may have taken 25 years to create.

Until next Sunday,

Catron & Jermaine Turner
JPix Studio

Twenty-five years. Countless lessons. Still learning.

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